LATEST UPDATE: Marriage Mistakes People Make.
I am neither a marriage or relationship expert nor someone who dabbles in relationship issues, but with the keen knowledge I have gotten to observe over the several decades I have spent on earth, I can categorically say that Marriage is the most important institution in one’s life. Like they saying; it is the only institution on earth where one gets a certificate before even starting out with the class work. Also the only institution one does see the result of the test first before even learning the notes.
In other not to bore you, I have come up with some FACTS and MISTAKES people get to make before entering the world’s most important institution called Marriage.
MARRYING JUST TO SPITE OTHERS:
Now this might sound funny but do you know a whole lot of people get married just to spite their peers and most times their ex? You find people having a relationship gone badly and one of the partner moves on, only for the other partner willing and ready to settle down with the next most available person no matter how terrible this present relationship might be. This is extremely common with the female gender who most times believes the best way to spite an ex is to get married almost immediately after their a breakup. So many people have lived their entire life regretting such action but are too shy to ever admit they got married to their present partner just to spite an ex.
ACCEPTING CONDITIONS BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Now when I mean conditions, I am not talking about both parties agreeing on the number of children they will have or on how they will handle financial issues. I am actually talking of a partner saying the only condition they will help you get your dream job is when you accept to their marriage proposal.A short true life story: There was a guy who was dating a lady (his first girl friend ever). Due to the fact that the lady was quite pretty and had lots of admirers, this young man came up with an idea. He gave the girl a story of how he is about to secure a permanent British residential permit but the only condition he can have the document is if he gets married and present his wife to the British embassy, in no time (less than 2 months). Both of them got married, with the hope that they will reside in England. Fast forward story; 4years after, both husband and wife (with 2 children) are still living in Nigeria. The woman now realizes she made the biggest mistake ever.People will use your needs as a bait to make you get married to them so the earlier you realize that what one can’t give you before getting married to you, there is little possibility of them doing such favours after marriage.Another condition men place women on today before getting married to them is that the woman first gets pregnant. That is why we have increasing number of single mothers out there.
THINKING EVERYONE MUST GET MARRIED:
It baffles me how people could imagine that every single being on earth must or should get married to prove their level of responsibility. Truth be told, marriage isn’t and can never be for everyone. Just like business, everyone cannot go into their own business nor have a day job. Some people will just do fine living each day as it comes and living off their loved ones (executive pan handlers). Several decades will pass them and you know what? They will never for one second die of hunger. Different illustrations will point to the fact that marriage isn’t for everyone, and those who try to force themselves getting married will just never last in that institution called marriage for a long time.
THINKING GETTING MARRIED WILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM:
Now this is one aspect of one’s reason to get married that still baffles me. You see some people thinking and hoping that the day they get married more than half of their problems will get solved. The truth of the matter is that the very day you get married; you have entered a bigger and more complex set of problems. What matters is your ability to stay strong in it and weather the storm. Getting married means living, trying to understand, and coping with a total stranger (your spouse) and molding a set of youngsters (your children) in the way you feel is best as well as accommodating and cohabiting peacefully with new set of strangers (your in-laws ) who came from a totally different background and with a different orientation to yours. So with all the above, how can one ever imagine that getting married automatically vanishes one’s problems.
LOOKING FOR A CHANGE IN YOUR PARTNER AFTER MARRIAGE :
several world renowned psychologists have at different times come out with the finding that it is almost impossible for someone to change an habit of theirs after the age of 21 except of course if they put in extreme dedication and hardwork to it. Unfortunately, most people go into the institution called marriage with the hope that their partner will drop a particular habit after he/she gets married. It is always advised that any habit one cannot cope with after marriage, one should never try to assume prayers and fasting will erase because it seldom ever does.
THINKING HAVING CHILDREN WILL BUILD LOVE:
Here is another mistake people make, they assume if they get married to someone who barely loves them, the love will start building the very moment they start bearing children. This unfortunately is a very wrong belief. It will only wide the relationship as the love that was to be given to you will now be redirected solely to the child(ren)
THINKING MARRIAGE WILL MAKE YOUR PARTNER MORE RESPONSIBLE:
Only extremely few people change for the better after marriage. A whole lot of people marriage brings out their real colours (most of them negative). If you accept to marry someone who love partying with friends and staying out late, it is only a matter of time before they return to such behavior few weeks or months after marriage.
Thanks for Reading The LATEST UPDATE: Marriage Mistakes People Make.
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